No, I'm not really okay, but I'm doing what I can to stay afloat. Moving the first time put me so far behind on bills that I can't get caught up. The mortgage company is still working on my loan modification, but I found out yesterday while talking with them that I have to be LIVING IN the house. So I told them I was and booked a mover. I'm breaking my lease, but the landlord said if they can get someone to rent the apartment then I'll be okay. I know the 3-bedroom apts. go fast, so I'm not really worried about that. But I'll be rent-free until the modification goes through and can get caught up on bills and maybe even save some for an emergency. I'm very sad about Phil moving to Phx. His parents bought a house there for him to live in and he's supposedly paying them rent. The boys really need him here. I need him here. Logan had a melt down this morning becuase he didn't like the socks I picked out for him to wear and we had no others for him. He wouldn't get in the car, my daughter was pissed that I was going to leave him there so I could go to work, so SHE had a melt down. Finally got him in the car and to the daycare where he refused to get out of the car. I'd go to the back seat to get him, he'd hop to the front seat. And back and forth, back and forth. I finally dragged him out of the car and got him inside where they quickly baricaded the front door with a big burly "woman" to keep him from escaping. He attached himself to my leg and I dragged him (and my leg) down the hall to his classroom where I managed to escape myself. I'm surprised I didn't hear him screaming all the way to work. It would have been very nice to call Phil and ask him for help. I may not want to have sex with the man, but he is my best friend, ya know? We helped each other. Now there is no helping each other. He's gained probably 15 lbs. since his heart attack a few months ago. I worry about him. Luckily my family is there if he needs anything. They all love him, so that's good. I was crying to my mom last night and she said that Phil and my dad sat in the living room one night when he was there for work and just cried about the whole situation. So that confuses me more. Maybe we could have worked on things, I wanted to. I don't know. But we can't co-parent and have 50/50 parenting time when he's 900 miles away. We moved here because it's a better place to raise the kids. So why he's moved back to AZ and wants the boys I'm not sure. His parents have paid for a Court and Family Investigator to decide where the best interests of the boys lie - with me, or him. so I may end up "losing" the boys for 9 mos. out of the year. I'm hoping for the best. So that's my story. :)
